I'm All In

Our four girls were set to be baptized yesterday. They each gave a short testimony and then their father and our pastor did the dunking. Each child had a very unique experience.Their profound words and actions have gotten me thinking.

Our oldest daughter spoke about how she was giving all of herself to God, Jesus asked His followers to be baptized, and He Himself was baptized. The words of a surrendered, intellectual, obedient child of God.
She then went backward into the water while favoring her broken collarbone. The one God held His hand on so she could raise her arms in worship at an intercession conference we went to. The shoulder that was recently in a sling but is healed to the level where she could go on with her plan to be baptized. When she came up out of the water, it was with a sense of fulfilling a rite of passage that validates her into the bigger "church", and it was without pain.

Our second girl went up to the microphone and got nervous. In answer to the question on why she wanted to be baptized, she blurted out, "Because it's who I am". Short and sweet, but not simple. The 'it' runs as deep as her compassion. Self-aware and secure in her position in Christ.
Her father had told her to hold her breath, and she kept trying to time it right before going backward into the water.  She came up all smiles and hugs. Because that's who she is.

Our third-born confidently went forward and began to preach about how she is "following the One True God because HE LIVES!"
She got into the big tub and was so eager, she almost baptized herself! She came up out of the water with eyes as wide as saucers. Alive in the One True God!

Our fourth daughter told everyone she wanted to show God that she "truly, truly loves Him". She got into the water but was too afraid to go under. She began to cry, so we pulled her out, hugged her, and reassured her of two things. The first is that God knows she truly, truly loves Him. The second is that before her next attempt we will have "baptism practice" by helping her learn to go underwater.

I keep coming back to the words she said as she stood in that big, water-filled tub. "I don't want to go down all the way!" I think about how scary that is for someone who's never done it before. Will I drown? Will I be able to get back up and breathe? What's under that water? Will I be safe?

And I know it's the same for grown-ups, too. We are also sometimes afraid, or unwilling, to go 'all the way under' in our faith.

I remember a dream I had a number of years ago.

In it, I was out in the ocean, looking toward shore and noticing there were many believers who were lounging around on the beach. I knew we were supposed to all be in the water, going deep with God and doing the work of His Kingdom. So I started calling out to them to come out to where I was.

"Go deeper! Go deeper!" I screamed at them. 

As my frustration and judgement mounted, I heard God tell me to look down. The water barely went up to my ankles.

That was a long time and a much different person ago. Since then, for some of the same reasons my daughters proclaimed,  I have gone all the way in.